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What do you see,
When you look at me?
I no longer know what’s real,
Don’t know what, or how I should feel,

I have squandered my youth,
Trying to find some kind of truth,
Now I don’t sink but I can’t swim,
I don’t lose but I just can’t seem to win,

Now I sit when I should stand,
I no longer dream and I no longer plan,
I’m the ghost of a younger man,
I take some joy when and where I can,

Some other place, some other time,
These are the thoughts that rage in my mind,
Don’t understand how I wound up here,
Burdened by doubt, by dread, and by fear,

So you just keep running and you know no help is coming,
Another hill, another boulder, you’re another year older,
And there’s no end in sight,All is wrong if nothing’s right,
Another year, another season with no rhyme and no reason,

Another scar, another battle,
another death, another rattle,
And you feel your back is breaking,
And your legs start shaking,

And at last the war is lost,
Though you can’t bear the cost,
Every bad dream has come true,
There’s hell to pay and the bill is due...

I tell myself I’m doing fine,
But I know I’m just doing time


from Songs From The Surveillance Age, released January 31, 2017




mrbitterness and the guilty pleasures Los Angeles, California

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